Self Care for Busy Parents: Real Habits That Fit
Self-care has a branding problem. Scroll social media and it looks like bubble baths, spa days and candles, which is lovely, but not much use when you have a toddler on your hip, a work deadline and a sink full of plates. Real self care for busy parents is less glamorous and more useful: moving your body, protecting a bit of rest, and getting better at saying no. These are the small, practical habits I encourage the mums and dads I coach to build, and none of them need a babysitter or a budget.
Why self-care is not selfish
Many parents I talk to feel guilty taking any time for themselves. But running on empty does not make you a better parent. It makes you shorter-tempered, more tired and more likely to get ill. Looking after yourself is part of looking after your family.
The NHS five steps to mental wellbeing include being physically active, connecting with other people and paying attention to the present moment. None of those require a spa. If guilt is the thing holding you back, my post on mum guilt and exercise is worth a read (and dads feel it too).
Self care for busy parents: the three pillars
I keep it simple with three areas. If you look after these, most other things get easier.
1. Movement
Exercise is one of the most reliable mood boosters there is. The NHS lists better mood, sleep and energy among the health benefits of exercise. You do not need long workouts. You need regular ones.
Try these, depending on your day:
- The 10-minute reset: 2 rounds of 10 squats, 10 incline push-ups against the kitchen counter, 10 glute bridges, 20 seconds of plank and a minute of deep breathing. Good for that 4pm slump.
- The walk-and-breathe: a 15-minute brisk walk without your phone in your hand. Notice trees, sky and sounds. This combines movement with paying attention, two of the NHS wellbeing steps in one.
- The stretch before bed: 5 minutes of gentle stretches for hips, chest and neck. It signals to your body that the day is over.
2. Rest
For most parents, sleep is the first thing to go and the last thing to come back. You cannot always control night wakings, but you can protect what you can.
- Set a “lights out” time and treat it like a work deadline. Even 30 minutes earlier, a few nights a week, helps.
- Put the phone on charge outside the bedroom. Late-night scrolling is the biggest sleep thief I see.
- Take micro-rests. Five minutes sitting with a cup of tea, not doing anything, is rest. You are allowed it.
- Swap sleep if you can. If you have a partner, take turns on early mornings at the weekend so each of you gets one lie-in.
The NHS Every Mind Matters page on sleep has more practical tips, and my post on exercise and sleep explains how training can help you sleep better.
3. Saying no
This is the one people skip, and it is often the most powerful. Your time and energy are limited. Every yes to something you do not want is a no to rest, exercise or your own family.
Some phrases that help:
- “I cannot this time, but thank you for asking.”
- “I can do one of those things, not both. Which matters more?”
- “Let me check and get back to you.” (Then actually check whether you want to.)
Start small. Say no to one optional thing this week: one extra committee, one late meeting, one social event you are dreading. Use that time for something on this list.
A simple weekly self-care plan
| When | What | Time |
|---|---|---|
| Every day | One 10 to 15-minute walk or movement reset | 10 to 15 min |
| 3 nights a week | Phone out of the bedroom, lights out 30 minutes earlier | 0 min (it saves time) |
| 2 days a week | A strength workout or class | 20 to 45 min |
| Once a week | Something just for you: a coffee with a friend, a book, a bath | 30 to 60 min |
| Once a week | Say no to one thing that drains you | Saves time |
When self-care is not enough
Exercise, rest and boundaries help a lot, but they are not a cure for everything. If you have felt low, anxious or overwhelmed for more than a couple of weeks, if you are struggling to cope, or if you have recently had a baby and feel very low, please talk to your GP. You can find NHS advice on stress through Every Mind Matters, and if you need help urgently, see the NHS page on where to get urgent help for mental health.
Where a bootcamp class fits in
A class can tick several self-care boxes at once. It is movement, it is 45 minutes that belong only to you, and it is a chance to be around other adults who are in the same boat. Many parents find the social side just as valuable as the workout.
If stress is building up, the SYP Release stress relief class uses pads and slam balls to let some of it out in a safe, supportive way.
FAQs
What counts as self-care for parents?
Anything that genuinely restores your energy or wellbeing: exercise, sleep, time with friends, quiet time, eating well and setting boundaries. It does not need to cost money or take hours.
How can I practise self-care with no time?
Start with tiny habits: a 10-minute walk, going to bed 30 minutes earlier a few nights a week, or saying no to one thing. Small actions done regularly add up more than a rare big treat.
Is exercise really self-care?
Yes. The NHS links regular activity to better mood, sleep and energy, and being active is one of its five steps to mental wellbeing. Choose activity you enjoy, so it feels like a break rather than another chore.
How do I stop feeling guilty about taking time for myself?
Remind yourself that a rested, healthier parent has more patience and energy for the family. Start with short slots so the guilt has less to grip onto, and notice how you feel afterwards.
Book your first class
If you want 45 minutes a week that are just for you, SYP Bootcamp runs small-group classes indoors in a church hall in Archway N19, max 10 people, £15 a class, for all fitness levels. You will get the timetable when you book. Book my £15 class or call or WhatsApp me on 07301 512215. If you would feel more comfortable starting one-to-one, take a look at private personal training in Archway.
About the author
Artem Olekhnovych is a personal trainer in Archway and the founder of SYP Fitness and SYP Bootcamp. He has coached clients in Archway, Highgate and across North London for over 10 years, and runs small-group bootcamp classes for busy mums and dads. Read reviews from his 1-1 clients.
