Sleep Tips for Parents With Broken Nights

Broken nights are part of the job when you have kids. Teething, bad dreams, a wet bed, a cough, a teenager crashing through the front door at midnight. Most standard sleep advice assumes you can choose when you sleep and wake. Parents cannot. So these sleep tips for parents are built for real life: getting back to sleep faster after a waking, using naps well, timing your caffeine, and handling screens without pretending you will never look at your phone again.

First, lower the bar

When you are woken three times a night, it is easy to lie there doing maths (“if I fall asleep now I’ll get 3 hours 40…”) and stress yourself further awake. The aim during a tough patch is not perfect sleep. It is to:

• fall back asleep a bit faster after each waking
• protect at least one longer stretch of sleep when you can
• avoid adding problems such as late caffeine or a phone in bed

Small wins stack up: 15 minutes faster after two wakings is an extra half hour a night.

Sleep tips for parents: the night-waking toolkit

Keep the lights low

When you get up for a child, use a dim night light or the torch on your phone pointed at the floor rather than switching on the main light. Bright light tells your brain it is time to be awake. Keep your voice quiet so you stay in “night mode” too.

Do not check the time

Turn the clock away. Checking the time switches your brain on and starts the worrying.

Use a simple breathing reset

Once you are back in bed, try breathing in through your nose for a count of 4 and out slowly for a count of 6 or 7, for about 2 minutes. A longer out-breath helps many people relax. The NHS has more ideas in its guide on how to fall asleep faster and sleep better.

Have a “worry pad” by the bed

If you lie awake remembering the PE kit, the school form and the dentist appointment, write them down. Getting them out of your head and onto paper often makes it easier to let go.

Get up if you cannot sleep

If you have been lying awake for what feels like 20 minutes, get up, go to another dim room and do something calm such as reading a paper book. Go back when you feel sleepy. Lying in bed frustrated teaches your brain that bed is a place for being awake.

Naps: how to use them without wrecking your night

A nap can be a lifesaver for a parent, but it helps to be strategic.

• Keep it short. Around 20 to 30 minutes is usually enough to take the edge off without leaving you groggy.
• Nap earlier. Aim for before about 3pm. A late nap can make it harder to fall asleep at bedtime.
• Nap when they nap, sometimes. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” is not always realistic, but even one or two naps a week during their naptime can help.
• Try a “coffee nap”. Some people drink a small coffee right before a 20-minute nap, so the caffeine kicks in as they wake. Only do this early in the day.

If you prefer to use nap time to move instead, my nap time workout is designed for exactly that window. Some days the nap is the better choice.

Caffeine timing that actually works

Coffee is part of most parents’ survival kit, and I am not going to tell you to give it up. But timing matters. The NHS suggests avoiding tea and coffee for at least 6 hours before bed. Here is a simple rule:

• If you aim to be asleep by 11pm, have your last caffeinated drink by about 2 to 3pm.
• Watch for hidden caffeine in cola, energy drinks and green tea.
• Have a glass of water before your first coffee. Being a little dehydrated can make tiredness feel worse.
• Swap your afternoon cup for decaf or herbal tea for a week and see if your sleep changes.

Screens: realistic rules, not perfect ones

The NHS recommends putting your phone away before bed. Here is how to make that easier when the phone is also your alarm, your work inbox and your only link to the school WhatsApp group:

1. Charge it outside the bedroom, or at least across the room, and use a cheap alarm clock.
2. Set a “do not disturb” schedule that allows calls from family only.
3. Pick a screen curfew, say 30 minutes before lights out, and use that time for something low effort: stretching, a shower, a book.
4. Turn the brightness right down if you do use it late.

A 5-minute wind-down routine

Here is a short routine to do once the kids are down, on the bedroom floor:

• Child’s pose: 1 minute, breathing slowly into your back
• Lying knee hugs: 30 seconds, gently rocking side to side
• Supine twist: 45 seconds each side
• Legs up the wall: 2 minutes, eyes closed, long out-breaths

It signals to your body that the day is done. If you train in the evening, finish with this. My guide to evening workouts after the kids are in bed explains how to keep late sessions from interfering with sleep.

Where exercise fits in

Being active during the day helps many people sleep more deeply. The NHS suggests mornings or early afternoons are ideal and advises avoiding exercise within 4 hours of bedtime. In my classes, every exercise has an easier and harder option, so on a bad-night day you can turn the intensity down and still get the benefit of moving. If you are dragging yourself through the week, SYP Recharge is built around energy and focus. And for the stress that keeps you awake, my post on exercise for stress relief is a good read.

When to speak to your GP

If you struggle to sleep even when the kids sleep through, if you snore heavily and wake gasping, or if poor sleep is leaving you low, anxious or unable to cope, please talk to your GP. If you have a baby and are feeling low, also speak to your health visitor. You do not have to just put up with it.

FAQs

How do I get back to sleep after a night feed?

Keep lights low, avoid your phone, and try slow breathing with a long out-breath once you lie down. If you are still awake after about 20 minutes, get up briefly and do something calm.

Should parents take turns with night wakings?

If you have a partner, splitting the nights so each of you gets some unbroken sleep can help you both cope. Agree it in advance, not at 3am.

Is it bad to drink coffee when you are exhausted?

Caffeine is fine for most adults in moderation. Just keep it to earlier in the day so it does not make the next night worse.

Book your first class

Moving at a regular time each week is one of the simplest ways to feel more human on less sleep. SYP Bootcamp runs 45-minute small-group classes in Archway N19, max 10 people, £15 a class, indoors with options for every fitness level. Book your £15 class here or call or WhatsApp me on 07301 512215. If you and your partner want to train together and support each other’s routines, you might like partner personal training.

About the author

Artem Olekhnovych is a personal trainer in Archway and the founder of SYP Fitness and SYP Bootcamp. He has coached clients in Archway, Highgate and across North London for over 10 years, and runs small-group bootcamp classes for busy mums and dads. Read reviews from his 1-1 clients.