How to Make Time for Exercise as a Couple
“You went to the gym on Tuesday, so it is my turn on Thursday.” “But I had that late meeting, so it does not count.” If workout time has become a quiet source of tension in your house, you are not alone. When two parents both want to exercise and there are kids to look after, someone always seems to lose out. So how to make time for exercise as a couple? In my experience it comes down to one honest conversation, a fair shared schedule and a bit of flexibility. Here is a simple way to do it, with a template you can copy.
Why it causes friction
Exercise time is often invisible work. One partner heads out for a run while the other is left doing bath time, and resentment builds quietly on both sides. Common problems I hear about:
- One person’s workouts are fixed (a weekly football game, a club) and the other’s are “whenever there is time”, which means never.
- One partner’s job is less flexible, so their slots always get cancelled.
- Nobody has actually discussed it. It just happens, or does not.
The fix is not more time. It is making the time you have visible and fair.
Step 1: have the conversation (15 minutes)
Pick a calm moment, not right after an argument about the bins. Each of you answers these questions:
- How many workouts a week would make me feel good? (Be realistic. Two or three is plenty for most parents.)
- When could I most easily train? Morning, lunch, evening, weekend?
- What type of exercise do I actually enjoy?
- Which times are impossible for me because of work or other commitments?
The aim is to find a plan where both of you get roughly equal time, not identical time. If one of you loves a long Sunday ride and the other prefers three short sessions, that can still be fair.
Step 2: how to make time for exercise as a couple with a shared schedule
Write it down. A shared calendar or a whiteboard on the fridge both work. The key rule: when it is your partner’s slot, you are on duty, fully. No “can you just quickly do bedtime first?”
Shared weekly schedule template
| Day | Partner A | Partner B | Together |
|---|---|---|---|
| Monday | 6.30am home workout (30 min) | On duty for breakfast | |
| Tuesday | On duty for bedtime | Evening class (45 min) | |
| Wednesday | Rest, early night | ||
| Thursday | Evening class or run | On duty for bedtime | |
| Friday | On duty for breakfast | 6.30am home workout (30 min) | |
| Saturday | On duty 9 to 10am | Long run or swim 9 to 10am | Family walk in the afternoon |
| Sunday | Long walk or ride 9 to 10am | On duty 9 to 10am | Park games with the kids |
That gives each of you three sessions a week plus shared family activity, and each of you covers three slots for the other. Adjust the days to suit your work patterns.
Step 3: build in flexibility
Life with kids does not follow a timetable. These rules help keep the plan fair when things change:
- Swap, do not cancel. If your slot is lost to a late meeting, it moves to another day that week. It does not disappear.
- Give a heads-up. If you need to swap, say so as early as possible, not as you are putting your trainers on.
- Weekly check-in. Five minutes on Sunday to look at next week’s calendar together. My post on weekly workout plans for busy parents fits nicely with this.
- Track it lightly. A tick on the fridge calendar for each completed session makes imbalances easy to spot without arguing.
Step 4: train together sometimes
Not every session has to be solo. Training together can be fun, good for your relationship and a way to get both workouts done at once, if you can find time when the kids are asleep, at school or with someone else.
Ideas for couple workouts:
- Partner circuit after bedtime (20 minutes): one of you does squats while the other holds a plank, then swap every 30 seconds. Then push-ups and glute bridges the same way. Repeat 4 rounds.
- Walk and talk: a brisk 30-minute walk while a grandparent or babysitter is home. It doubles as catch-up time.
- A class together: one evening or weekend slot where you both go.
For more, see my post on couples workouts, which has full routines you can do at home.
Step 5: include the kids
Family activities do not replace your own training, but they add movement and take pressure off the schedule. A weekend walk, a bike ride or park games all count. My post on exercising with your kids has ideas for all ages.
A note on fairness
Fair does not always mean 50/50 every week. If one partner is recovering from an illness, has just had a baby or is under heavy work pressure, the balance might shift for a while. If you have recently had a baby, check with your GP before returning to exercise; this is usually at the postnatal check around 6 to 8 weeks after the birth. The NHS has guidance on your 6-week postnatal check.
What matters is that both of you feel the arrangement is fair over time, and that you can talk about it openly.
Where a bootcamp class fits in
A booked class is the easiest slot to protect in a shared schedule, because the time is fixed and your partner knows exactly when you will be back. It also works well as a couple, if you can get childcare covered: you train side by side, with easier and harder options so you can each work at your own level.
If you both fancy something different, the SYP Box Fit beginner boxing class is a fun, no-sparring session to try together.
FAQs
How do parents find time to work out?
Plan it like any other appointment, cover for each other’s slots, and keep sessions short. Two or three 20 to 45-minute workouts each a week is realistic for most couples with kids.
Is it good for couples to work out together?
It can be. Training together can be motivating and a nice way to spend time as a couple. It works best when you respect that you may have different fitness levels and goals.
What if my partner does not want to exercise?
That is fine. You can still agree on cover for your sessions. Lead by example, invite them occasionally, and avoid pressuring them. Shared family walks are a low-pressure place to start.
How do we split workout time fairly?
Agree on how many sessions each of you wants, put them in a shared calendar, and cover each other fully during those slots. Swap missed sessions rather than cancelling them, and review the plan weekly.
Book your first class
Put one class in your shared calendar this week. SYP Bootcamp runs 45-minute small-group classes indoors in a church hall in Archway N19, max 10 people, £15 a class, for all fitness levels, and the timetable is sent when you book. Book your £15 class here or call or WhatsApp me on 07301 512215. If you would like to train together with a coach, I also offer partner personal training in Archway.
About the author
Artem Olekhnovych is a personal trainer in Archway and the founder of SYP Fitness and SYP Bootcamp. He has coached clients in Archway, Highgate and across North London for over 10 years, and runs small-group bootcamp classes for busy mums and dads. Read reviews from his 1-1 clients.
